The Pocket Guide:
An Overview of Key Member-Centric Selling Learnings
This guide summarizes concepts from influential sales and relationship books, applying them to a consultative sales model specifically for Trilogy by Shea Homes. Our goal is to move beyond the traditional "Qualify-Present-Close" paradigm and instead focus on becoming a trusted partner. We aim to help our guests genuinely discover if the unparalleled Trilogy lifestyle is the perfect fit for their exciting next chapter.
Language We Can Use: New Terms for a New Approach
"Stay Curious"
This is our shorthand for actively seeking to understand. Continually ask thoughtful, probing questions that go beyond the surface to uncover genuine needs and desires. It's about listening more, assuming less, and truly connecting.
"Commission Breath"
We've all encountered it – the vibe that says "I just want to close the deal." "Commission Breath" is the opposite of a Trusted Advisor. It's perceived pushiness that derails trust. Let's avoid it by focusing on the member, not the transaction.
"Flip the Script"
When we feel ourselves or the conversation heading towards a premature solution or assumption, it's time to "Flip the Script." Slow down, re-engage curiosity, and probe deeper to understand the underlying motivations before offering answers.
"Where You At?"
Our performance improves when we position ourselves as trusted advisors, focusing on genuine help and understanding. Conversely, acting like a pushy salesperson diminishes trust and effectiveness. Always strive to be on the advisor end of this spectrum.
Quick Tricks for Earning Trust
Beyond the foundational principles, there are immediate, actionable techniques drawn from both the Trusted Advisor approach and "Never Split the Difference" concepts that can significantly reframe guest perception. These "quick tricks" are designed to foster deeper connection, build trust, and empower guests, transforming a sales interaction into a meaningful conversation.
1
Pattern Interrupt
Break the expected salesperson-customer dynamic with an unexpected action or question. This shifts the interaction from transactional to genuinely conversational, creating a memorable connection.
Trilogy Example: Instead of immediately launching into a tour: "Before we dive into the community, what's one thing you absolutely love doing in your current home that you hope to continue, or even enhance, here?"
2
Get Ahead of It
Preemptively acknowledge and neutralize potential negative thoughts or accusations the guest might be silently holding. This disarms them and fosters trust by showing you anticipate their concerns.
Trilogy Example: "You might be thinking this is just another sales pitch, or that I'm only interested in getting you to sign something today. That's absolutely not my intention; I'm here to explore if Trilogy is truly a good fit."
3
Use No-Based Questions
Start conversations with questions that are easy to answer "no" to. This gives guests a sense of control and reduces their defensiveness, making them feel empowered rather than pressured.
Trilogy Example: "Is it a bad idea for us to quickly tour the fitness center?" or "Are you against exploring a few different floor plans today?"
4
Always Provide an Exit Ramp
Give guests permission to leave or say no at any point in the conversation. This reduces pressure and paradoxically makes them more likely to stay engaged. When people feel they can leave freely, they're more comfortable exploring.
Trilogy Example: "Feel free to stop me at any time if this doesn't feel like the right fit, or if you'd prefer to cut the tour short. I want you to feel completely comfortable throughout our time together."
5
Deploy Tactical Silence
Use strategic pauses after asking a question or making an important point. This allows the guest time to process, reflect, and share more deeply, encouraging them to elaborate without feeling rushed.
Trilogy Example: After asking, "What are your biggest hopes for this next chapter of your life?" simply wait patiently for their response without filling the void.
6
Probe Deeper
Go beyond surface-level responses by asking follow-up questions that uncover the underlying motivations, desires, and even unspoken concerns of your guests. This demonstrates genuine curiosity and a commitment to truly understanding their needs.
Trilogy Example: When a guest mentions they want "more community," ask, "What does 'more community' truly look like for you? Is it about shared hobbies, spontaneous gatherings, or something else entirely?" or if they express a concern, "Can you tell me more about what makes you feel that way?"
7
Summarize & Confirm
Actively listen and then reflect back in your own words what the guest has communicated. This demonstrates deep understanding and validation, showing you've truly heard and processed their needs and desires.
Trilogy Example: "So, if I'm understanding correctly, Sarah, you're looking for a community that offers both a vibrant social life and quiet spaces for your painting, and you're particularly keen on a layout with a dedicated art studio area, is that right?"
By incorporating these simple yet powerful techniques, you can move beyond transactional selling and build genuine, meaningful connections with prospective residents, positioning yourself as a trusted guide rather than just a salesperson.
The Trusted Advisor
The foundation of your role is to build an unshakeable bond of trust. Trust is a formula: Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy divided by Self-Orientation. Your focus is to be a low-ego guide on their journey.
Credibility
Be the definitive expert on the Trilogy lifestyle and the Shea Homes difference. Share your knowledge not to impress, but to inform. Instead of saying, "We have a great golf course," you might say, "For many people, the championship golf course is a key part of their active lifestyle. Is that something you'd like to explore?"
Reliability
Consistently follow through on every promise, no matter how small. If you offer to email a detailed list of clubs, send it immediately. This builds confidence and shows you are dedicated to their experience, not just a sale.
Intimacy
Create a safe space for them to share their dreams and concerns. Ask open-ended questions and listen without judgment. The conversation should be about their vision for their next chapter, not about the square footage of a house.
Self-Orientation
This is the degree to which you focus on yourself rather than the client; a high self-orientation reduces trust. Keep your ego, sales goals, and personal agenda in check, focusing entirely on what's best for the guest, even if it means Trilogy isn't the right fit for them.
Application at Trilogy: Your primary objective is to understand their story and their vision for their future. Ask, "What worries or hesitations do you have about this big life change?" and then address those concerns with empathy and genuine guidance. Always put the guest's best interest first, even if it means acknowledging that Trilogy might not be the right community for them.
Trusted Advisor in Practice
The shift from a traditional "Qualify-Present-Close" (QPC) sales model to a "Trusted Advisor" approach redefines the interaction with prospective residents. It transforms sales professionals into invaluable guides who prioritize understanding and building genuine connections over pushing for a transaction. Below, we contrast these two methodologies using key elements of the Trusted Advisor framework.
Trusted Advisor
Credibility
Be the definitive expert on the Trilogy lifestyle and the Shea Homes difference. Share your knowledge not to impress, but to inform. Instead of saying, "We have a great wellness center," you might say, "For many people, the wellness center is a key part of their active lifestyle. Is that something you'd like to explore?"
Reliability
Consistently follow through on every promise, no matter how small. If you offer to email a detailed list of clubs, send it immediately. This builds confidence and shows you are dedicated to their experience, not just a sale.
Intimacy
Create a safe space for them to share their dreams and concerns. Ask open-ended questions and listen without judgment. The conversation should be about their vision for their next chapter, not about the square footage of a house.
Low Self-Orientation
Your focus is to be a low-ego guide on their journey. Always put the guest's best interest first, even if it means acknowledging that Trilogy might not be the right community for them.
Traditional QPC
Qualify (Feature-Focused)
Focus primarily on presenting features and benefits of the community and homes without deeply exploring the guest's individual needs or motivations. For example, stating, "We have a great golf course," assuming its value to all prospects.
Present (Inconsistent Follow-Through)
Promises might be made during the sales process to move the conversation forward, but follow-through is not always prompt or consistent. This can erode trust and signal a lack of dedication.
Present (Transactional)
The conversation centers on the property's specifications, pricing, and availability. Questions are often closed-ended, aiming to gather information to push the sale rather than understanding the guest's emotional landscape or vision.
Close (Self-Serving)
The primary objective is to secure a sale, sometimes leading to pressure tactics or overlooking potential misalignments between the community and the guest's long-term happiness. The focus is on achieving a quota.
By consciously adopting the Trusted Advisor approach, sales professionals can cultivate deeper relationships, leading to more satisfied residents and a stronger community built on trust and genuine connection.
Never Split the Difference
The concepts from this book are not for winning an argument, but for gaining a deeper understanding of the guest's true motivations, fears, and objections. These negotiation techniques help create genuine connection and understanding.
01
Tactical Empathy & Labeling
Show guests you understand their feelings by acknowledging them directly. If a guest seems anxious about the sales process, you might say, "It sounds like you feel a lot of pressure to make the right choice here. Is that right?" This simple acknowledgment defuses tension and shows you are on their side.
02
Mirroring
Gently repeat a few key words from a guest's statement to encourage them to elaborate. If a guest says, "We're just beginning to explore our options and we don't want to rush," you can respond with, "Don't want to rush?" This subtle prompt allows them to open up and tell you more.
03
The Power of "No"
Instead of pushing for a "yes," allow them the comfort of saying "no." This gives them a sense of control and reduces the feeling of being "sold." You can ask, "Is it a bad time to talk?" to start a conversation, allowing them to feel in charge.
04
Calibrated Questions
Use "How" and "What" questions to give guests a sense of ownership over the solution. Instead of, "Do you like this floor plan?" you might ask, "How would this home support the hobbies and activities you're hoping to pursue?"
05
Accusation Audit
Preemptively address any negative thoughts or accusations the guest might be silently holding against you or the situation. This disarms them and builds trust. For example, you might say, "You might be thinking I'm just trying to sell you something, or that this community is out of your budget. Perhaps you feel like this is a big decision and you're worried about making the wrong one. Is that fair?"
06
"That's Right"
Instead of aiming for "yes," strive for "That's right." This means the guest feels you truly understand their perspective, motivations, and fears. After a detailed conversation about their desire for community, activity, and low maintenance, you could summarize, "So, what I'm hearing is that you're looking for a vibrant, engaged community where you can easily pursue your passions without the burden of extensive home upkeep, and you want to be sure it truly fits your active lifestyle. Is that right?"
Application at Trilogy: Use these tools to address common fears in a way that is validating, not combative. The ultimate goal is to get the guest to say, "That's right," indicating they feel completely understood and heard.
Negotiation Techniques in Practice
The "Never Split the Difference" techniques, when applied through a Trusted Advisor lens, transform standard interactions into meaningful conversations focused on understanding and mutual benefit. This approach contrasts sharply with the traditional QPC model, which often prioritizes closing a deal over genuine connection.
Trusted Advisor Approach
Applying these techniques helps build rapport, uncover deeper motivations, and guide guests toward solutions that genuinely fit their needs, reinforcing the role of a trusted partner.
Tactical Empathy & Labeling
Show guests you understand their feelings by acknowledging them directly. If a guest seems anxious about the sales process, you might say, "It sounds like you feel a lot of pressure to make the right choice here. Is that right?" This simple acknowledgment defuses tension and shows you are on their side, fostering trust.
Mirroring
Gently repeat a few key words from a guest's statement to encourage them to elaborate. If a guest says, "We're just beginning to explore our options and we don't want to rush," you can respond with, "Don't want to rush?" This subtle prompt allows them to open up, provide more context, and feel truly heard, empowering them in the conversation.
The Power of "No"
Instead of pushing for a "yes," allow them the comfort of saying "no." This gives them a sense of control and reduces the feeling of being "sold." You can ask, "Is it a bad time to talk?" to start a conversation, allowing them to feel in charge and more likely to engage authentically when they are ready.
Calibrated Questions
Use "How" and "What" questions to give guests a sense of ownership over the solution. Instead of, "Do you like this floor plan?" you might ask, "How would this home support the hobbies and activities you're hoping to pursue?" This approach shifts focus from simple preference to personal connection and future vision, guiding them to discover their own answers.
Traditional QPC Approach
In contrast, the QPC model often employs tactics that, while aiming for efficiency, can lead to a transactional feel, potential mistrust, and missed opportunities to truly serve the guest's long-term happiness.
Ignoring or Dismissing Emotions
In a QPC model, emotional cues like anxiety or hesitation might be overlooked or countered with feature-based assurances. For example, responding to anxiety with, "Our community has excellent security, you won't have to worry about safety," rather than addressing the underlying feeling of pressure or uncertainty, thus missing a chance to build rapport.
Rapid Questioning or Re-directing
A QPC approach might respond to a guest's statement like, "We're just beginning to explore our options and we don't want to rush," with a quick "I understand, but let me show you why our community is perfect for those exploring options," or immediately redirecting to product benefits without allowing the guest to elaborate on their feelings or situation.
Pushing for "Yes"
The QPC model often aims to gain agreement quickly, viewing any "no" as an obstacle to overcome rather than a signal of an unmet need. For example, pushing for a commitment or a tour schedule that doesn't align with the guest's initial hesitation, creating pressure rather than comfort.
Closed-Ended or Leading Questions
Traditional sales might use questions like, "Don't you agree this floor plan is ideal?" or "Are you interested in a large kitchen?" These questions seek confirmation or gather specific data points, limiting the guest's input and framing the discussion around seller-defined parameters rather than open exploration of needs.
By understanding these distinctions, sales professionals can consciously choose to adopt the empathetic and insightful techniques of a Trusted Advisor, ensuring more profound and successful interactions.
Cialdini's Principles of Persuasion
These principles can be used ethically to help guests overcome inertia and feel confident in their decision to join a community of like-minded people. The key is applying them with genuine intent to serve the guest's best interests.
Social Proof
Frame social proof as a way to show guests they are joining a happy, thriving community. Share stories and examples of other residents. "Many of our residents have shared how much they appreciate the sense of community here, especially through our social clubs and events. Is that something you're looking for?"
Liking
Build a genuine rapport with your guests. Be warm, friendly, and find authentic common ground. This isn't a tactic, but a natural result of being a good listener and showing a sincere interest in them as individuals.
Authority
Position yourself as a knowledgeable guide, not as a superior expert. Your authority comes from your deep understanding of the community and the needs of active adults, which you use to inform and empower their decision-making.
Commitment & Consistency
Help guests take small, positive steps that are consistent with their stated goals. If they say they want an active lifestyle, encourage them to visualize themselves using the community amenities. "You mentioned wanting to embrace an active lifestyle, perhaps even trying pickleball. As you look at these courts, can you envision yourself enjoying a game here and how that might fit into your ideal day?"
Reciprocity
People feel obligated to return favors. Ethically, this means providing genuine value upfront without expectation. For example, "Here's a complimentary guide to local attractions and restaurants, even if you decide our community isn't the right fit. We just want you to enjoy your visit to the area." This fosters goodwill and trust.
Scarcity
People value things more when they're limited. This isn't about creating false urgency, but honestly communicating genuine limitations. "I wanted to let you know that we currently have very limited availability for homes with this specific floor plan and view, and they tend to be quite sought after. Is this a feature that's particularly important to you?" or "Our wellness retreats are quite popular and typically have limited enrollment; early registration for the next one concludes soon. Is that an experience you'd be interested in learning more about?"
Unity
People are influenced by those they identify with or feel connected to. Foster a sense of shared identity and belonging. "As fellow active adults, we all understand the desire for a vibrant community," or "We're all here looking for a place where we can thrive and connect with others who share our passions."
Application at Trilogy: Use these principles to help guests see themselves as part of the community before they buy. Show them what life is like for current residents and allow them to feel a sense of belonging from the very first visit.
Persuasion Principles in Practice
Trusted Advisor Approach
When applied ethically, Cialdini's principles enhance trust and guide guests toward decisions that genuinely align with their needs and aspirations, reinforcing the role of a trusted partner.
Social Proof
Frame social proof as a way to show guests they are joining a happy, thriving community. Share stories and examples of other residents. "Many of our residents have shared how much they appreciate the sense of community here, especially through our social clubs and events. Is that something you're looking for?"
Liking
Build a genuine rapport with your guests. Be warm, friendly, and find authentic common ground. This isn't a tactic, but a natural result of being a good listener and showing a sincere interest in them as individuals.
Authority
Position yourself as a knowledgeable guide, not as a superior expert. Your authority comes from your deep understanding of the community and the needs of active adults, which you use to inform and empower their decision-making.
Commitment & Consistency
Help guests take small, positive steps that are consistent with their stated goals. If they say they want an active lifestyle, encourage them to visualize themselves using the community amenities. "You mentioned wanting to embrace an active lifestyle, perhaps even trying pickleball. As you look at these courts, can you envision yourself enjoying a game here and how that might fit into your ideal day?"
Traditional QPC Approach
In contrast, the QPC model often employs tactics that, while aiming for efficiency, can lead to a transactional feel, potential mistrust, and missed opportunities to truly serve the guest's long-term happiness.
Social Proof
Present social proof as a means of generating urgency or fear of missing out. For example, "Many families are moving here this month, so homes are selling fast!" rather than focusing on community connection.
Liking
Use superficial flattery or forced commonality to create a false sense of connection. For instance, "I just love your outfit, you have such great taste!" or immediately proclaiming shared interests without genuine engagement.
Authority
Overwhelm guests with facts, figures, or policies to assert dominance or rush a decision. For example, "As the sales director, I can tell you these prices won't last," to push for an immediate commitment.
Commitment & Consistency
Seek early, small agreements that lead to larger, sometimes unwanted, commitments. For instance, asking "You agree a safe neighborhood is important, right?" and then using that agreement to pressure them into signing up for a specific tour time, even if they're hesitant.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
This book provides the framework for all your interactions. The core lesson is to focus on making your guest feel important and truly understood. When you make the conversation about them, their life, and their future, you are no longer a salesperson; you are a trusted advisor.
Become Genuinely Interested
Learn about their past careers, their hobbies, their family, and what brought them to this point in their life. Ask questions and listen intently to understand their unique story and aspirations.
Remember and Use Their Name
A person's name is the most important sound in any language. Use it respectfully and often, as it makes the interaction personal and sincere, showing you value them as an individual.
Make Them Feel Important
Listen more than you talk and be generous with sincere praise. Acknowledge the courage it takes to make a big life change. "It's so inspiring to see you taking this step to create the life you want."
Talk in Terms of Their Interests
Reframe every feature of the community in terms of how it will benefit them personally. Don't say, "We have a great wellness center," say, "You mentioned a focus on fitness—our wellness center offers classes and equipment that many residents love."
Trusted Advisor Approach
Focus on understanding the guest's emotional needs about starting a new chapter. Build intimacy and credibility by addressing concerns about leaving memories behind and dealing with logistics. Offer low-pressure exploration: "How about we just walk through the community and see if the feeling of a place like Trilogy resonates with you?"
Traditional QPC Approach
Jump to solutions and push for next steps in the sales process. Focus on overcoming objections rather than understanding emotions: "Our team can handle all the paperwork for you. We have a streamlined process." This feels impersonal and self-oriented, likely causing withdrawal.
Relationship Building in Practice
Trusted Advisor Approach
Applying Carnegie's principles with a genuine desire to serve the guest, building trust and rapport that goes beyond a transactional interaction.
Become Genuinely Interested
Learn about their past careers, their hobbies, their family, and what brought them to this point in their life. Ask questions and listen intently to understand their unique story and aspirations. Focus on understanding Sarah's emotional needs about starting a new chapter. Build intimacy and credibility by addressing her concerns about leaving memories behind and dealing with logistics. Offer low-pressure exploration: "How about we just walk through the community and see if the feeling of a place like Trilogy resonates with you?"
Remember and Use Their Name
A person's name is the most important sound in any language. Use it respectfully and often, as it makes the interaction personal and sincere, showing you value them as an individual. Make a conscious effort to remember unique details associated with their name.
Make Them Feel Important
Listen more than you talk and be generous with sincere praise. Acknowledge the courage it takes to make a big life change. "It's so inspiring to see you taking this step to create the life you want." Offer them your undivided attention and validate their feelings and experiences.
Talk in Terms of Their Interests
Reframe every feature of the community in terms of how it will benefit them personally. Don't say, "We have a great wellness center," say, "You mentioned a focus on fitness—our wellness center offers classes and equipment that many residents love." Connect community aspects directly to their expressed needs and desires.
Traditional QPC Approach
Often prioritizes efficiency and closing, which can lead to superficial interactions and a focus on overcoming objections rather than fostering genuine connection.
Become Genuinely Interested
Jump to solutions and push for next steps in the sales process. Focus on overcoming objections rather than understanding emotions: "Our team can handle all the paperwork for you. We have a streamlined process." This feels impersonal and self-oriented, likely causing withdrawal. Information gathering becomes a checklist, not a conversation.
Remember and Use Their Name
Uses the guest's name mechanically or infrequently, failing to make the interaction personal. May use it as a lead-in to a sales pitch without genuine respect, or simply not bother remembering it, reducing the guest to a number.
Make Them Feel Important
Focuses on presenting features and benefits without listening to the guest's reactions or concerns. Provides generic compliments or rushes the conversation, making the guest feel like just another prospect, not an individual whose journey is valued.
Talk in Terms of Their Interests
Presents a canned script of community features regardless of the guest's expressed needs. Fails to tailor the conversation, leading to irrelevant information or missed opportunities to connect a feature to a specific interest, resulting in a detached presentation.